Tag Archive: Set list

Pretty Vacant

I woke up to a message on Sunday morning – Do I want to play a gig with Glen Matlock tonight – do I want to do a gig with an absolute legend in my hometown, five minutes from where I live – Well i was a bit worse for wear after watching a rather blinding set from Irish punk rockers the Defects and still on a “big buzz” from an amazing Killing Joke gig the night before and it just didn’t register, i went and had a cup of tea and then it hit me – fuck – its Glen “fucking” Matlock, he of the Sex Pistols & Rich Kids and one of those responsible for a very young me turning to punk music and letting it ruin my life ever since. Yes of course i was doing it – no brainer really and i would be paid too – absolutely splendid – whats the time? – ooh fuck its nearly three and all i have done all day is drink tea and fanny about online. I had to change my strings (good move) write out a longer set than usual (not a problem) rehearse said set list coz i hadn’t played a few of them in a while (bad move) went and soundchecked (good move) the stupidly went to the pub beforehand (very bad move) to settle the nerves a bit and bumped into a few people I knew, as you do in your local, told them to get along to the Ramsgate Music Hall, they wont be disappointed (I think they were)
I turned up to the gig with 40 minutes spare before i went on, I had had a few but I was OK (I wasn’t), I had only had a couple of pints, another one or two won’t hurt (it did) – I get up play the first notes and completely forgot the opening words of a song I had been doing for ages, ironically “We’ve forgotten” being the first two words of it, i stumbled thru the swiftly rehearsed following song, completely bolloxing it up and then finally settling into the set, thoroughly enjoyed it and even sold a couple of CD’s and made a couple of new fans which was nice.
Then like a tit in the dressing room i manged to spill my beer all over Glens brand new books, well one of them got it worse than the rest so i bought it (at a discounted rate of course coz it was beer damaged) apologised and made a swift exit after the obligatory selfie. Glen didn’t bat an eyelid congratulated me on a nice set and cleared the room just before he went on, doing a rather short (to my pissed head) set but it was rather good with a couple of Pistols numbers a Rich Kids song and I believe a Small Faces tune and a fair few others – Thoroughly nice fella. One to cross off the list of  legends I have had the privelidge to play with, although would like a do over on this one as it is the second time I have made a tit of myself in front of Glen. The other being Borders in Brighton about 14 years ago but thats another story.

Here is the selfie with Glen and my ole mate Paul

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The Joke’s On Me

I thought it would be quite a laugh to do this “Fund A Crimewave” camapign as a bit of a piss take with the entire idea of it being to release three CD’s. That was it, one bunch of demos, one acoustic album of proper versions of some of the demos plus a few new ones and one “band” album of the same, as reasonably cheaply as I could without stiffing myself for too much money which I haven’t got. I had a look at some real “pledge” or “funding” camapigns and reckoned I could do that on my own, completely DIY from start to finish. The entire lot.

Being as I have a small fanbase and am probably going to end up funding most of the CD’s myself,  I thought it would be a jolly wheeze to take the piss out of the real campaigns and add things in like “a guitar string” or “your words recororded” or even a beer stained printed “signed set list” which, lets face it, I could print out any old time take it to the kitchen spill a bit of beer at random and tread on it to give it the authentic “been on the floor at a gig ” look (i haven’t but I could) You could even get yer mitts on “handwritten lyrics” – Yeah I will just take a couple of  minutes scribbling out some  lyrics i know off by heart, on copy paper, during my lunch break, squiggle my name on it and sell the entire lot for silly amounts of money and if someone was really stupid they could buy my guitar and have a private gig for a grand. I was rolling on the floor laughing my head off at this coz if anyone WAS stupid enough that would be me with a new guitar, all  3 CDs recorded and pressed (small run DIY … remember) and a few quid towards putting on a gig with a reasonable headliner if i could afford it.

Yeah that will be great, everyone will find it funny and realise im taking the piss, maybe pre-order a CD or download and maybe go for one signed (or get it cheaper and get it signed at a gig)  or maybe pre-order the last one in a box (for all 3 CD’s) I was going to take the piss a little bit with the box set or the “limited” t shirt and was going to take the proper “piss take” items down after a while. Then something happened. I got a request for some hand written lyrics and a set list and i thought, hold on a sec!!! what the fuck is going on? I have only been doing this a week, someone I know is taking the piss here and has absolutely zero intention of actually wanting the lyrics or set list and are maybe feeling a bit sorry for me and bunging me a few quid without me knowing who they are and just watching me flap about it for shits and giggles. Yeah that’ll be it.

Then I get an e-mail with set of words in it and some pennies bunged into my paypal account I thought yeah it’s definitly someone having a laugh with me,  til i noticed the address was in Japan … erm.. they’re fucking serious… what the fuck… so the joke is now on me as I am going to have to do things properly and record tracks for people and hand write lyrics on copy paper. Im just a bit stunned by this so have decided to  leave the “no longer a piss take” items up there. I was going to remove them just leaving about 6 options but I am not going to now, so if anyone else had thought about “funding” me thru one of the “joke items” please get in contact first and I’m bloody sure I can sort something out with you that won’t take the piss.

Thank you to the people who have funded this project so far. I can afford to get the CD pressed  in a jewel case now but after the “extra funding”  I want the first CD “Past Its Sell By Date” to look a bit better so am going to hold back on ordering for a while and hopefully sort it out in a DigiPak and also get a few done in a Jewel Case for those that dont like Digi’s if these are affordable options – thank you for your generosity so far. I ‘m quite blown away by it all.

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